The Necessity of Symbolic Acts

June is LGBTQ Pride Month. I’ve had several interactions in the last week with people who don’t understand why this is necessary or who are offended by the proliferation of rainbows around them. I’ve also had a couple of interactions with people who say that the proliferation of rainbows is meaningless and that only action makes a difference. It’s rather sad that in 2017 any of this has to be explained, but it does, so here’s my take as an LGBTQ ally (I hope I've used appropriate language throughout; if I've missed something, please know it's inadvertent and let me know what's better because I want to learn):

Pride Month is necessary because people who identify as LGBTQ in any way are still subjected to discrimination, inequality, and outright hatred on a daily basis, often in very public ways: 

• Marriage equality became the law of the land in 2015 here in the United States and just in the past couple of weeks in Taiwan. That makes right in the neighborhood of 25 countries in which marriage equality is real for the whole country or for some jurisdictions in the country (Mexico is still state-by-state, but the national constitution allows for equal rights for same-sex couples who are parents). That means upwards of 170 countries still discriminate against same-sex couples who wish to form legally recognized marriages with all the rights and privileges accorded to male-female couples, including the right to co-parenting in the event of divorce. Of course, that right is not yet fully guaranteed in the United States despite the legalization of marriage equality, especially when states try to require a child to be adopted by the non-biological parent in a same-sex couple to assure parental rights but do not do so when a heterosexual couple has a child via sperm donor (looking at your misguided legislature and its very specific gender-based exemption in the proposed law, Tennessee!).
  
• Hate crimes against our LGBTQ brothers and sisters continue to shock the conscience of anyone with a heart. The Pulse nightclub atrocity last year, rightly called an act of terrorism, is the most prominent act of violence in memory, but every year the FBI records about 2,000 acts of violence under hate crimes legislation against people who identify as LGBTQ and as with rape, most experts agree that the strong majority of acts of violence related to a person’s sexual or gender identity go unreported.
  
• Teens whose sexual or gender identity is not “the normal” (heterosexual and cis-gendered, that is, identifying as the gender one’s body presents and that was assigned at birth) still have substantially higher rates of depression, anxiety, and suicidal tendencies than their heterosexual and cis-gendered peers. Many factors contribute to this, including religious rejection of LGBTQ identity, fear of rejection by family and friends, and fear of retribution and bullying by peers and by adults one should be able to trust.
  
• It is still legal in many states for someone who identifies as LGBTQ to be fired simply because of their sexual or gender identity. I met a couple in Pennsylvania who had decided not to get married because one member of the couple was afraid for her job if she did, as her employer had been vocal about his antipathy toward marriage equality. She was looking for another job, but the looking was slow-going because of geographic limitations imposed by her partner’s excellent but non-transferrable job with a Fortune 500 company recognized for their LGBTQ friendliness by the Human Rights Campaign.

Symbolic acts are necessary because they are visual reminders that people are paying attention to the world around them. Sometimes, as when someone spray paints a swastika on a synagogue or puts a noose in the Museum of African American History, it points out that people feel threatened by the changing world and reminds us that we have a lot of work to do to conquer the hate and fear that prompt such actions. We thought we were over the hump on racism and anti-Semitism, but the uptick in acts of vandalism motivated by those feelings since the beginning of the Trump candidacy reminded us powerfully otherwise.

Putting a rainbow on a bumper sticker or a social media avatar is a small symbolic act in the abstract. But what it means to our brothers and sisters and their families is that someone has noticed there’s a problem and made a statement. It may be that such a small act is all that person can manage right now because that rainbow is an act of defiance against their family, their friends, or their religious teachings. That small act may be the one that gives him courage to shout down a hater a month later or to put her body between someone intent on violence and a potential victim six months later. Yes, for some people, it’s all they think they need to do, but thus has ever been the case and until we can magically fix human nature, it will thus ever be. Most people, however, grow into new moral vision slowly and anyone who discourages any stage of that growth should take a deep breath and encourage the next step instead of denigrating the one just taken.

Putting a rainbow in a store front window is a bigger act of courage in a lot of the United States even today. When a business makes a bold statement like that in an area where equal rights of all kinds are questioned, the owners are putting their livelihood on the line. So make a statement yourself and give them your business. If your family or your neighbors are boycotting because of the rainbow, it’s even more important for you to buy a cup of coffee or drop off your dry cleaning or sell them office supplies. Your continued relationship with such a business sends a message to the entire community: discrimination and hate are wrong. It’s telling that putting up an anti-LGBTQ sign is nearly a death sentence for a business because people won’t associate with blatant hate, but they will refuse to associate with acceptance and support of the same people they won't admit they hate or fear.

And as to rainbows on church signs and inside church spaces: there is no single institution more responsible for the degradation of the human dignity of people who identify as LGBTQ than the Christian Church over the last 2000 years. The denominations which have begun to apologize for that behavior by repudiating the theology of dehumanization and embracing a theology of welcome and acceptance are not as many as should be in 2017. The congregations which actually practice welcome and acceptance in those denominations are even fewer than should be in 2017, especially given what we now know about biology and neurochemistry that our ancestors could not have known 2000 or 3000 years ago. For a congregation to offer welcome and acceptance visibly—and more important to back it up with action once people are inside the door—is to provide a safe space, a sanctuary, for people who are LGBTQ as well as families and friends who know that they could invite Uncle Joe and his husband Uncle Kevin or college roommate Kim and her wife Terry to church without fear of funny looks or gossip. And of primary importance, without fear that something will be read in the liturgy or preached from the pulpit that will dehumanize themselves or their family or friends but will instead they will hear how God’s love transforms fear into action and hate into love and power for good.

However you’re celebrating Pride month, whether it’s with a small symbolic act or marching in a Pride parade or going to a church that wears its rainbows proudly, good for you. And if you haven’t yet decided, remember that silence is complicity with those who would continue to propagate fear and hatred. DO SOMETHING.